Woe!

I’m sick. I have a miserable sinus infection on top of a pregnancy that makes me wicked tired. And I need to be working right now. But all I want to do is curl up under a blanket and snooze. With Harvey. He’s a great snuggle buddy. See photo above.

Worse, I’m starting to question the worthwhileness (is that a word??) of the job I’m currently working. I enjoy the writing and the people (especially the woman I work closely with–she’s wonderful), for the most part I like all of website stuff, content finding, emails, meetings, conference calls, everything, that is, except the ad sales. I hate selling ads, and I try never to use the H-word. But yes, HATE, in all capitals, just like that. I hate it so much that I’m just starting to consider giving up the contract job (I’m self-employed) that I like so much.

Sure, there’s a commission. And sure, I’m paid my normal hourly rate just for making the calls. But man, that is not enough motivation for me.

The other huge problem is that ad sales involves being on the phone almost constantly. I make lots of calls, get many people on the phone, leave messages for more who call me back later. Like when my toddler is throwing a tantrum. But I have to take the call, knowing as I do that in sales, if a person knows you’re trying to sell something an actually calls you back, you CAN NOT put off that phone call. They won’t call again, period.

Since I do most of my calling when J is sleeping, and he’s a fitful sleeper at best, I’ve had lots of issues lately with him waking up while I’m in the middle of a call and screaming at the top of his lungs. I live in a very small apartment, and the person on the phone definitely hears every time. It has ruined more than one call that was going pretty well.

When I took this job, I committed to no more than 15 hours a week, and committed to myself that I would confine my work to J’s nap times and evenings and weekends when Jason could be with him. He has since started day care 8 hours a week to give me designated hours to work. That’s great and all, but it eats away at my pretty meager bottom line. And while I knew that sometimes I would need to take/make an important call or send an email, I didn’t anticipate the level of intrusion on my J time from return sales calls.

This is one situation I do not know how to balance, and I’m not sure there’s a way, other than to ask that I give up the ad sales. I don’t think that would be received very well, considering sales was primarily what I was contracted to do. And I walked happily into it, I’ve just learned since that it’s akin to inserting bamboo rods under my finger nails.

Woe. Alright, I’ll be quiet now. Thanks for letting me vent!

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